I walked down to the river, stood by the shore and tossed a couple of stones in. Thruor’s concerns matched my own. We were starting to think somewhat alike, I mused. Somewhat.
Thruor was not my sister. I might want her to be, but she wasn’t. Still, she was my friend, and I was trusting her with the woman I loved. What more was really needed?
To feel that I was safe and free? That wasn’t going to happen, for any of us, unless…I shook my head.
It wasn’t going to happen. Killing Surtur, if I could even contemplate such a thing, would not make us safe and free, because there would still be Tyz’vel. And people seeking revenge for the fire giant king.
Whom I knew I couldn’t take on anyway. So…was this going to be my life? I began to wish I didn’t know who I was.
To envy the Jane who had no memories and thought she was ordinary. A flash in my mind. I was sparring.
With Kara. I was shorter. She was laughing as she got me on the shoulder with a practice weapon. Kara? I hadn’t felt any connection to her.
Maybe we hadn’t had much of one. Maybe it was just a spar, and maybe everyone sparred with everyone. Or maybe it was my imagination, not a memory.
No. It was a memory. I was sure of that. I threw another stone into the river and saw my own face, as a child, in the ripples. About five or six? Or however old that was. My hair was almost white. It must have darkened a little.
And behind me, I saw my mother. Maybe she had an answer. Loki’s answer was to keep moving, keep running, keep tricking.
Sigyn’s? I didn’t know what it would be, and maybe it was time to find out. I threw another stone, dispelling the image or vision, but not the sense of her presence, not entirely.
I felt drawn towards a waterfront bar. Hopefully they wouldn’t card me if I didn’t order a drink, I thought as I stepped up onto the deck.
She was sitting at a table in the corner and pushed out the chair with her foot.
“No need to be so awkward.” She smiled. “I know it probably is a bit awkward.”
“And I think I always did feel closer to my father.”
“Even when he wasn’t around.”
I considered that, then nodded. “I need some advice. I need different advice.”
“Advice he wouldn’t give?”
“Another perspective on the problem.”
She flagged down the waiter and I ordered food and soda. I’d already eaten, but not that much and I was hungry again. “Which problem?”