A cop. I believed Mike when he said it wasn’t him. But a cop? What kind of cop would do something like this on the side?

Mike would.

But no. I just couldn’t believe it was him. It didn’t feel right. Which meant that somewhere on the force, there was somebody else who knew. Another hunter cop.

Maybe more than one. How many people knew? I knew most people didn’t. I knew the feeling of being surrounded by the initiated was just because I was seeking them out.

But I did wonder as I walked through the fall day. I wondered. It was almost Thanksgiving. I had no family to celebrate it with. I wasn’t even American, but so many people were talking about it…
The thought of inviting Loki and Thruor drifted into my head. For all I knew they…

…my thoughts seemed to shy again, and this time I forced myself to focus on it. They were related to me.

No.

It was Loki I didn’t want to be related to. And couldn’t be. I knew that for sure. I was no monster, I was pretty sure the Queen of the Dead couldn’t have kids, and the boys had died as children. And Loki himself had been in prison…

…with his wife right there. Oh no. I wasn’t even going to think about that. I wasn’t even going to let that thought enter my mind, but there it was.

Off limits.

Oh no. I turned on my heel and stalked towards Thruor’s pad. Which was empty. Not gone for good empty, but she was certainly not there. Dammit. I was going to ask her for the truth. Her, because I still didn’t trust him.

Or did I? He wouldn’t hurt me, but he might play games with my head. What would he say if I outright asked him? I realized I was trembling.

I realized how much I both wanted and didn’t want it to be the truth. The one person who could convince Loki…where his wife had apparently failed.

Sigyn.

Goddess of Fidelity. But I had no idea where to find her and it had been a man who had fired the shot.

It had definitely been a man, not a woman, and why had that thought even crossed my mind? A hunter cop.

No. Definitely not. My head was whirling with the edges of memories that refused to actually come back but, equally, refused to depart.

Thruor had alcohol, but she wasn’t there, and I wasn’t about to break in and raid her stash, and I couldn’t just buy it and…

…and I was in no state to be out on the street. I ducked into the alleyway, where I forced myself to breathe.

Loki. Damn him. Except he’d already done a quite good job of that himself, hadn’t he. I pushed down that anger.

I wasn’t about to let red rage consume me over this. It was Odin, anyway, who had blocked my memories and dumped me on the street in DC. Not Loki.

Right in that moment I wasn’t sure I wanted anything to do with either of them.

Kanesha had made talking to Loki about what was bothering me impossible, although I knew he wasn’t that mad.

He’d left before he became mad. I was sure of that. But I did remember the story. One of his kids turned into a wolf by Odin so he’d savage the other. And they were, as far as I knew, both dead. Of course, there was also the kid that was a wolf.
Fenris.
The wolf who would devour the sun. The enemy made so by the Aesir’s fear and paranoia. No side was angelic in this. People assumed divine meant good.

I hadn’t done anything bad, though. Had I? Who had killed Mr. Clem? I still had no answer to that question and no answer to who I really was.

Which one did I pursue first? I was ignoring Loki’s baiting to hunt something less smelly than vampires for now.

Who killed Mr. Clem? That was probably the easiest to resolve. I knew it hadn’t been Mike. Mike would have left him alive to arrest.

But…maybe Mike could help me. The cop shop, Saturday morning. I was less uncomfortable each time I walked into the place, less uncertain of myself and what I was doing there.

I opened my mouth to ask if he was around right as he walked out of a back room, then over to me. “What’s up?”
“Privacy?” I was hardly going to talk to him in the squad room lobby. Then I added, “Donuts?”

He laughed and steered me back out the door. “No donuts, but I could use…and am entitled to…a break. What happened?”

“Off the record. Please. I don’t want to end up spending the rest of the day in an interview room. But…Victor Clem.”

“One shot, through the heart. You didn’t do it.”

“No, but only because somebody else got there first. I’m trying to find the somebody else.”

“Victor Clem pissed a lot of people off.”

I shook my head. “Whoever did it, did it because they thought I would appreciate it. I want to make sure they know otherwise before anyone else gets killed.”

“Your demon boyfriend?”

“He denied it. If it was him, that’s a case closed. He’s not coming back any time soon and if he does, I’ll just kick his butt again.” I quirked my lips at him.

“You finally got rid of him. Good.” Mike paused. “You didn’t see him.”

“He fired from behind me. I heard his voice, so I know it was a man.” Or a male, at any rate. “And obviously, a good shot. Ballistics…”

Mike frowned, then abruptly he walked away from the station leading me to follow. “That’s what we’re sitting on. He was shot with a 9mm. With hollow points.”

I knew that was significant somehow, but couldn’t place it. “And…”

“Police bullets. It was a cop that killed Mr. Clem. We just don’t know which one.”

Kanesha showed up while the two of us were flopped in the lounge, a plate of brownies fresh from the oven on the coffee table.

She took one without bothering to ask, or check whether they were cayenne or not, and munched on it as she sat down. She glanced at Loki, then at me.

“It’s he who shall not be named,” I quipped. “Don’t worry. He’s just here for the brownies.”

He snorted at her and claimed what was, I was sure, his third at least. “I helped make them,” he noted.

“That’s why they’re extra hot.” I looked at Kanesha. “He also said he might know of something more fun to hunt than vampires.”

She perked up visibly. “Werewolves?”

Loki tensed visibly, then he stood up and started to leave, the brownie still in one hand.

“I…”

“Psst. What happened to his kids?”

Kanesha’s mouth formed an o.

“People turning into wolves may be a sore point.” I sighed and settled back into the couch. “He’s probably leaving before he turns you into a toad.”

From outside the door, I heard, “Ribbit.” Which probably meant he wasn’t that mad.

“Now he won’t tell us what it was.”

“Oh, he probably wouldn’t have anyway. Just dropped hints and clues and watched us scramble. And claim it was to teach us to be better at stuff.”

“You’re right.” Kanesha sighed, then settled back into her chair. “I probably shouldn’t be looking for trouble anyway. I’ve just been itching for a big fight since what…”

“Since what happened to your dad. Even if he wasn’t much of a dad.” He was more of one than I had. Or was he?

“Yeah.”

“The vampires wasn’t a big fight.” I lowered my voice. “Seb couldn’t fight two vampires and had to come running for help.”

She giggled a bit. “He’ll get better.”

“I hope so. But I dealt with them. I didn’t invite you because there were only two of them.”

“And you needed the workout.”

I laughed, snagging another brownie. “I think I did.”

“I can’t decide whether to be jealous of you or not.”

“Don’t be. You don’t have fire giants trying to get in your pants.”

Vampires, dealt with. Well, I found something on the police blotter about the incident, but the description of me was suitably vague. Oddly, they hadn’t found the body.

Maybe they rotted away that quickly. Or maybe a hunter had stepped in for me. I should have gone back for it, but no.

I’d have been seen dragging it away. Either way, Seb was impossibly, puppy dog grateful for me for helping him and for not telling anyone it had only been two vampires.

Of course, that meant I had to deal with Kanesha’s reaction. “You fought vampires without me?”

I rolled my eyes. “Do you really want to be invited next time? You know they smell, right?”

She made a face. “Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I just don’t want to be left out.

She had a point on that. “Okay. We’ll plan some kind of hunting expedition soon.”

Kanesha flickered me a grin. “In the mean time, you…” She was interrupted by the lesson bell, though, and I had to rush to get to first period. So I never found out what she meant to ask me.

It can’t have been that important, I thought later, as I headed back to the house. Or she’d have tracked me down. Maybe she just wanted more cayenne brownies. Actually, I wanted more cayenne brownies. There was only one answer to that and I stopped to get brownie mix.

As if attracted by the thought, Loki fell in next to me as I emerged from the store. I knew it was him even though he was wearing the form of a young black man.

“People will think we’re dating.”

“You know better. Kanesha knows better.”

I shrugged. “If you show up looking this hot, people will get jealous.”

He laughed. “Interested?”

“Not particularly, but…” I would have been if it hadn’t been him and if I hadn’t known it was him. But…yeah.

“Good.” He flickers a grin.

“I’m off limits. I know.” And in that moment I wanted to ask him why and I was sure I knew why, and I shied away from that knowledge. “Also, the brownies aren’t made yet.”

He laughed. “Maybe I should help.”

“No hitting on Kanesha.”

“Awww….oh, wait, you want her for yourself.” He fell in next to me as I walked.

“Not exactly. I might, but I’m worried that one of the other people who wants me will do something to her to get her out of the way. And she’s not…”

“Eh. Not one of us, but does that matter? Her lifespan would be a fling.” He sounded serious.

“It’s too risky. It’s…her choice to be involved, and I respect that, and she wants to go hunting vampires.”

“Don’t hunt vampires. I know something you can hunt that smells less.”

I laughed. “Brownies.”

He even kept his word on helping to make them.

“What happened?” It was a balding man who got out of the car, the remnants of his hair closely resembling a tonsure.

“He just ran out into the street.” I tried to get between the two of them, having dropped the sword…hopefully, before the man saw it.

The vampire, of course, was not particularly damaged. It lunged at me. He seemed a reasonable gender now we were much closer. I grabbed it and tried to hold it at arm’s length. “He’s hopped up on something.”

“I’m calling an ambulance.” The man tugged out a cellphone.

Great. I couldn’t get rid of him and if the vampire ended up in an ambulance, it would end up with dead paramedics. Dead and eaten paramedics. But it was all I could do to restrain it.

Knock it out? It would come around quickly. I had to kill it, and I had to do so without letting this guy see anything.

I let it go. It thought better of biting me and then tried to run, limping off. I shot a glance at the man. “I’ll get him to the hospital or home or something.” And then I took off, but being careful not to catch it right away. Hopefully the sword wouldn’t be stolen, confiscated or used to cut something before I got back. Seb was probably following me anyway.

Seb had better be following me. I heard the car start up again behind me, but the man wasn’t sticking around. Now he knew there were drugged crazies involved, he’d decided to clear the area. That was my assumption, anyway.

Nice to know some people around here had sense. He’d probably report it to somebody, but hopefully not in enough detail to be traced to me.

I ran around the corner, and saw a broken picket fence. Snagging part of it to make for a makeshift stake, I lunged towards the injured vampire. He fell under my weight and I thrust the stake through his back into the heart.

He stiffened and went limp. Taken care of, I thought with satisfaction. I hated to leave his already fairly well decomposed form on the sidewalk, but I had no choice. As I jogged back, I saw Seb coming after me with my sword in one hand. He was holding it as if it might turn into a snake at any moment.

“I’ll take that.”

“Did you get him?”

“Yes, but you saw our little problem. Had to be a decent guy, didn’t it.”

“Of course.” Seb made a face. “Let’s not be here when and if the cops show up. Actually…”

“Let’s go swing by Thruor’s place. She doesn’t frown on underage drinking.” I could tell what he wanted.

Heck, it was about what I wanted, and I was definitely having those “old enough to fight” thoughts again. And I knew Thruor would have something.

We stopped by the house to get my sword. Much easier to hide such a thing when it was cold enough (barely) to wear a long coat.

I definitely wanted to get Loki to teach me how to hide a sword. I was sure he could do it. Even Thruor might be able to. Or, heck, Thruor’s steed, although I’d seen no evidence that she could talk.

For now, I tucked it under my coat, and handed Seb a wooden stake. He had that and the holy water.

Two vampires? I could take them without him, but he needed to get his confidence back. And not get bitten again. I was definitely not going to let him get bitten again. That had to hurt, I thought.

We had to take a bus to the park he was talking about. I didn’t like that. I was armed and if the transit police spotted it, they’d arrest me for sure. And I couldn’t edit their memories the way the ravens could. Well, Munin could anyway. I was now sure that was Munin. Memory.

Lacking that, I had to be careful not to get arrested in the first place. I also didn’t want Seb getting hauled in.

Maybe Mike could get us out, I thought. Maybe I should have…nah. We didn’t need him. We could take these vampires.

A small neighborhood park, the kind of place that fell between blocks, between houses. It was likely nobody outside the development even knew it existed – except the county employees who mowed the grass, and who rather needed to mow it again, from the look of it. Especially around the culvert that ducked under a street at what I thought was the north end.

Maybe the vampires were scaring them off. “In there?”

“They may not be in there right now,” Seb pointed out. “It’s pretty dark.”

Meaning they might be awake and prowling people’s yards. I headed for the culvert nonetheless, and smelled a scent I recognized.

Vampire. Seb hadn’t lied to me. They didn’t quite smell of rotting corpse, but I remembered this oddly sweet scent from the last vampire den.

It was not as strong here. I looked into the culvert and saw that they had rough rags for sleeping. “You’re right. They’re not here. Hrm. Up for an all nighter?”

“A stake out, you mean? I could…”

“Easier for me than you, so if you aren’t up for it say.” I’d found that all nighters were easier for me now. I had more stamina.

You just have to know you can do it. Maybe gods needed to believe in themselves, although I still shied away from the idea that I was one. But maybe everyone needed to believe in themselves.

Seb certainly did right now.

“Alright,” he said. I looked around, then indicated the bushes above the culvert.

“They might smell us.”

I thought about that. “They won’t,” I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt. It would probably help if Seb believed in me, too.

I got halfway to the club. Which was honestly better than I should have thought I would. Halfway to the club when Seb showed up.

“Hey there.”

“Hey,” he said, a bit nervously.

I hoped the nerves didn’t mean he was going to be the next person hitting on me – although at least he was fairly harmless. “What’s…wrong?”

There seemed to be something wrong, so that was what came out instead of the more neutral what’s up.

“I could use your help.”

“Okay. I’m going to an all ages club…come with me?”

“People might think…”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t care if people think you’re my boyfriend or date or whatever. It’s a good place to talk. Do you need somebody beating up?”

He looked down at his feet and mumbled something which might be a yes.

I continued towards the club. We could sit in a booth and discuss it with soda, like civilized people. I very much wanted to be civilized people that night. He followed, still looking at his feet.

Whatever was wrong, he was embarrassed about asking for help. I bought him a coke and guided him to a booth. “Talk to me.”

“I’m supposed to be good at this stuff, but…”

“What do you need beating up?”

“Couple of vampires. They’re hanging out in the park and now a kid’s gone missing and I should have taken them out before and I should be able to handle a vampire.”

Vampires had struck me as easy, but I didn’t say that. Seb had lost all of his cocky confidence. “Did they…”

“They have to actually intend to turn you. Or it’s just a nasty bite.” He rolled up his sleeve. Fang marks.

“Ow. You should maybe get antibiotics for that.”

“I did. I told them it was a stray dog. They made me get rabies shots too.”

Ugh. They might not inject them into the stomach any more, but rabies shots sucked. “Okay. How about we get something to eat and then go deal with them?”

“We?”

“We.” I wasn’t going to let him hide behind me, not when I knew he was going to be annoyed with himself for doing it. “We’ll need to swing by my place, I don’t have my sword with me.”

“Okay. Just don’t…”

“I don’t think I have to worry about being bitten. I’d give them indigestion.” A pause. “Do you have…”

“I have holy water. That helps.”

I nodded. “Okay. Food first.” Because I had a feeling he hadn’t eaten all day and now I thought about food, I was rather hungry myself. Food was one of those things you didn’t remember you needed until you thought about it, sometimes. The club had food…it wasn’t great, but you could get a sandwich. He ordered a club, I bought a croque monsieur, munched on it. Between munches. “So, they’re in a park?”

“There’s like this…tunnel kind of thing that I think they’re denning up in. You know how vampires are. They don’t exactly care about their living conditions.”

I remembered the state the previous vampire den had got into and shuddered. “I definitely do.”

“I think he really cares about me,” I said to Kanesha. It was lunch time, and we’d found a corner table so close to the banging kitchen door nobody else had joined us. Or could hear us.

“I think he…” Kanesha tailed off. “There’s nothing to say Loki couldn’t decide to like somebody, right?”

“No, I think there’s more to it than that. I mean, sure, he could just think I’m cool. And I think he does. But he implied I’d have been better off going with Tyz’vel and trying to avoid Ragnarok.”

“Then he thinks it’s inevitable. Now that he’s out, maybe it is.” Kanesha frowned. “The…”

“It’s not time for the world to end. Let’s change the subject? I’m starting to get depressed.” I didn’t want to think of everyone dying, and I didn’t care if there’d be an entire new world afterwards.

Or maybe Ragnarok was actually just climate change. There was a theory. Or any way the world ended. If humanity wrecked things enough, they might make it necessary.

Changing the subject of the conversation was possible. The subject in my head was more resistant. It stuck around through class, and it stuck around after class. It was nice not to have to worry about Martin at the school gate, though.

Well, except I almost missed him. Even an annoyance can become routine, almost comfortable. Maybe that was why so many women stayed with their abusers. That comfort could easily become Stockholm Syndrome.

But he was gone for now, although that didn’t mean there weren’t other threats out there. I didn’t see DC the same way I had. Now I saw the city as a potential nest of all sorts of things. There wouldn’t be vampires out in daylight, but was that very Goth girl a demon? No. I rolled my eyes at myself for stereotyping and headed home to finish homework and then maybe hit the club.

I should have known trying for a bit of normality was a bad idea, but it seemed like I had a rare opportunity to do so and I intended to take it. While it lasted, I could appreciate being just a girl.

One day I wouldn’t be able to be that any more, and maybe I thought, Odin had done me a favor after all. He’d given me a chance to experience that.

Just like other girls. With a sword under my bed and armed when I went to the club. That was starting to become routine. So was getting home as quickly as possible so I wouldn’t be out on the street without it. School had metal detectors, and I couldn’t risk it.

No.

It was already impossible to be just a girl for me, and I’d dragged Kanesha into it, but if we could stop the world from ending, it would be worth it.

Talk Loki into working against Ragnarok instead of for it?

And I knew that I had made the right decision. If I’d gone with Tyz’vel, then that would have been one less reason for the chaos god to put it off.

Why did he care about me so much? If I asked him, I’d get a lie. I knew that for sure. He was the silver tongued one, and the rare honesty had always been about me pushing my own capabilities.

Learning to protect myself. He didn’t want me hurt. Gods, I thought, but it wasn’t really, quite a swear word.

I’d never understand them.